DO WE REALLY KNOW EACH OTHER WELL?

HELP! I'm In A Lost World Now!

30/04/05
William had came back to singapore from taiwan, Me Twinklez and wawa go air-port to fetch him, then we wanted to go for breakfast twinklez and wawa want to eat popeye chicken but end up we never eat cos open at 11am.... but we walk past crystal jade then william say he long time never eat this liao but twinklez and wawa feel too EX liao end up we never eat at all! we just took a taxi to redhill (william house). at his house he take out all those thing he bought in taiwan then give it to us lor. Guess what i got from him? 1 singlet 1 shirt and some toys. i like the singlet very much! but i feel the size is to big liao. After this we took taxi to bugis for our lunch and also bought some stuff for our coming chalet on 6/5 this friday! nothing much for the day. we went back around 1pm+ And i went back with william to redhill hahaha! then what we done?! GUESS!!!! SLEEP LAH!!! LOLxX sleep till very late! never eat dinner too...

Next Day
Nothing much too, i work afternoon and he went to his aunt house. Wanted to bring him for movie de but after my work very late liao so end up never go just stay at his house but i told him we go eat crystal jade and watch movie tomorrow k? cos i work morning the next day he reply hmm "i'm going out with his aunt to buy laptop and dig cam but think still can maybe it before 5.30pm" i say ok.

02/05/05
I sms him at 2.48pm
"meet you 5.30pm can?"

William at 4.05pm
"I don't know whether can make it anot. cos now i still walking with my aunt. We haven't buy the laptop yet."

Me at 4.37pm
"Then how...?"

Willim at 5.13pm
"I still with them. They still looking for laptop. I meet you later can? Or you go back first then we go tiong bahru watch?"

What can i do? This is not the first time liao.... i very sian about all this liao...
5.30pm i went back redhill, when i reach home her mum ask me "Never meet william meh?" I reply "He still with his aunt outside" Then nothing much for me to do so i go shower, in the shower room i hear his mum call his aunt "Where are you all? why take so long?" Maybe her mum know what i'm thinking liao...
After shower watch some TV NEWS EX presidend pass away!.. Around 7pm+ i went to bed keep on thinking am i to self-fish? Think And Think And Think then fall a sleep! Wake up around 8pm+ he still not back home. No sms/call from him... 8.32pm he called me ask me. "Do i want to go buy tix first?"
I reply "I don't want to watch liao"
He ask " am i angry?"
Reply "No"
Then he ask "What time i'm working tomorrow?"
Reply "Morning"
Him "OK then i maybe going out with my friends and maybe stay overnight in his house watch SOCCER tomorrow"
I'm thinking since when he like soccer? Whatever i just reply "OK""Bye"...
Around 9pm i go redhill market to have my dinner from crystal jade become redhill market... from 2 persons become 1 person... On the way to redhill market i sms him "After my dinner i go back bukit batok liao. i very sian liao... free time go my blog see.. maybe i'm to self-fish... Don't call me."
No Reply At All...
I send a sms agian "Anyway i'm not angry. I'm just thinking am i to self-fish.."
I was hopeing he will call/sms me back but still NO REPLY!..
Do he care about me? care about this love?!?!?! I'm asking myself why do i love him? And is he really love me? I don't know... He let me feel like he don't care at all!...
Anyway i never go back bukit batok i still walk back to his house wait for him to came back, he reach home around 10pm+. Don't know why he can make me smile everytime, His mum went to bed around 11pm so i start to watch VCD and he use internet. my eyes still keep peeping at his LCD hope he will go to my blog and see what in my mind but he never... 12am-1am-2am... he never care to go at all... Why he don't want to know what in my mind? how i feel about this love?... I hear he going oversea for his study, for how long i don't know. he never talk to me about this at all... 3years? 4years? 5years? or more? If he really go am i going to wait for him? or in another word can i wait for so long? But if i wait can he wait too??? I know is my wrong to say all this but i have lost trust in this love... I'm 23 this year and i know i'm UGLY! for me to find a love is not easy, i don't want to waste time in love anymore... What is more important for him? Study? friends? family? or love? i know i can't stop him from study i can't stop his future. I agree friends is important but a 10years friend may backstab you anytime... family?(Touch Wood) can they follow you till the end? till you die?!

I just hope he can take sometime just 10-15min! to read my blog! to read my mind! why he can stay overnight at other house and watch sccoer but cannot just take sometime for me? for my blog? for our love... Why i create this blog for? name it llawll for what? why?!
A = Andrew
W = William
Just hope we can be forever!... Sometime really don't feel like post anything here, what i doing all this for? Is only for him! Just want to find a way to let him know what i'm thinking... what in my mind.... But i feel like i'm a fool! Doing all this just like an idiot! Sitting in front of my computer, typeing... check dictionary cos my english is SUX! For what i do all this? JUST ONLY FOR HIM!!! But did he care on what i do?...

Am I Self-Fish?! Can Someone Help Me?! Tagboard Is Just On The Left Hand Side, You Maybe Just Past By Here But I Need Help!!! Tell Me What To Do!!!